Acceptance

I've always felt awkward in social situations.  People say it's normal and that I should just "be myself" or whatever it is that people say.  But I always strive for acceptance, and I fell my thoughts are so contradictory that I wouldn't be accepted.  So I say nothing and I respond directly.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Love the Beach

Okay, so I omitted some events from the weekend in my last post. Here are the gritty details. On Thursday I called the jeweler to locate a particular setting; the ring was available in a Texas store. When I mentioned a Los Angeles trip for the weekend, he checked to see if any of those locations had them in stock. He confirmed the Mission Viejo store had it. I called up the store and talked with Judith for a few minutes. After all the pleasantries and small talk, the main factor of price range was touched: I let her know what I was comfortable with. I arranged a meet-up to view the setting and some possible diamonds on Saturday between 4pm and 5pm. If everything worked out as I wanted: I would talk to Kathleen's father on Saturday at the driving range, buy the setting and diamond in the afternoon, have the ring sized and ready on Sunday, and surprise Kathleen with a proposal on the beach of Santa Monica on Monday. The weekend began like any other: a half-day at work to catch...
Read more

SARS-CoV2 COVID-19 Don't Panic

I am trying. I am doing my best not to panic, to keep anxiety at the level of concern. But it's difficult and I'll tell you why. Right now, social distancing seems to have started, fueled, and caused by communities needing to act. They feel that need to act because we have no faith in our government leaders at any level. We have no faith in our government leaders because they did not have a plan, nor have proposed a plan, nor have put into action anything resembling a plan. We don't have a plan because it takes hard work and determination, it takes grit to create and maintain a plan against a future foe that will take an unpredictable form. And nobody in the government took that time and effort and grit to create the plan. And since we have no plan, we have no leadership. And since we have no leadership, we have no faith in leaders. And since we have no faith in leaders, we simply return to basics. We look after ourselves. We selfishly do the things we can to control what w...
Read more

One-Year-Old Lessons

Parenting has a way of motivating (scaring) you into openness and learning: growth. Even with the head start of nieces and a nephew, there are aspects of parenting never discussed that emerge; mainly: the relationship with your partner. While the barrage of emotions is not new, the mad pace at which these emotions arrive felt like being a child all over again. Especially since we both were dealing with situations completely foreign. My biggest misconception? The amount of control I would have over any situation. All it takes is one fever to feel immensely powerless and useless. For panic to take over. For target fixation to narrow my view on only one symptom: the temperature reading. And even little decisions have me reeling because of their novelty. When do we change diaper size? What solid foods should we feed her? Which stroller should we buy? What should she wear today? Does she need heavier layers of clothing? Will she be too hot? Where can I get diapers and wipes the cheapest...
Read more